veja_mate (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} veja_mate) wrote,@ 2006-10-22 20:13:00 |
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no more tigers
I walked by the arrival area and looked miserably at all the people waiting. I hated them, I hated that they got stand there impatiently and just wait for the person they loved to arrive, while I couldn't. Waiting just couldn't help me. I stood there myself just two days ago thinking that the wait is unbeareble. I don't think I'll ever be in that situation again, because now that he is gone, now I know that this feeling of loss is much worse. All I wanted to do is hide away in a corner and cry my eyes out, but of course I didn't. I just kept walking.
The bus on the way back got filled very quickly, I just listened to my music and zoned out, trying to hide from the world and mysef as much as possible, hopefully to the others around me I appeared as an emotionless zombie, just kind of sitting there. This went all well till my cell phone rang. As much as it was painful, I would have done it soo happily over again if he was calling to tell me that he missed the plane, that he is getting the next bus to see me and I could spend another day with him. But it was my mother. She went on a baking spree and wondered when I was coming home to help eat the products.
I was so happy to get off the bus, to put my hood on and get lost in the rain. Thats when the first few tears fell. I walked as slow as I could, but eventually reached the building....home.
Katie left to go to supper with some relatives. I went to find my friends. There was four of them watching a movie. I didn't want to be alone, I knew if I was, I would start to really cry and I just didn't want to be miserable, I wanted to be distracted from the pain, but as soon as I saw them, two couples sitting on the bed, I knew there was no room for me there and that seeing them would only make me feel worse.
So I went back to my room and cried.
Now I am here and I know that tomorrow I will feel better, but for now, for now the only thing I can do is be sad.
Vera
I walked by the arrival area and looked miserably at all the people waiting. I hated them, I hated that they got stand there impatiently and just wait for the person they loved to arrive, while I couldn't. Waiting just couldn't help me. I stood there myself just two days ago thinking that the wait is unbeareble. I don't think I'll ever be in that situation again, because now that he is gone, now I know that this feeling of loss is much worse. All I wanted to do is hide away in a corner and cry my eyes out, but of course I didn't. I just kept walking.
The bus on the way back got filled very quickly, I just listened to my music and zoned out, trying to hide from the world and mysef as much as possible, hopefully to the others around me I appeared as an emotionless zombie, just kind of sitting there. This went all well till my cell phone rang. As much as it was painful, I would have done it soo happily over again if he was calling to tell me that he missed the plane, that he is getting the next bus to see me and I could spend another day with him. But it was my mother. She went on a baking spree and wondered when I was coming home to help eat the products.
I was so happy to get off the bus, to put my hood on and get lost in the rain. Thats when the first few tears fell. I walked as slow as I could, but eventually reached the building....home.
Katie left to go to supper with some relatives. I went to find my friends. There was four of them watching a movie. I didn't want to be alone, I knew if I was, I would start to really cry and I just didn't want to be miserable, I wanted to be distracted from the pain, but as soon as I saw them, two couples sitting on the bed, I knew there was no room for me there and that seeing them would only make me feel worse.
So I went back to my room and cried.
Now I am here and I know that tomorrow I will feel better, but for now, for now the only thing I can do is be sad.
Vera
